Matthew_wehttaM - "Backwards world of Matthew.wehttaM fo dlrow sdrawkcaB"

No pictures to offer yet, but I can tell you all about this place that, though civilization began here, I'm pretty sure it's not really designed to hold actual people anymore. If a travel agency wanted you to vacation here they'd have to offer the following selling points:
*Beach-like sand, but with no water
*Beautiful view of sand
*Nice climate with high winds, high heat, plenty of sand blowing in your face as you cruise in your Mercedes van with the windows down so you can work on your tan
*Catch the latest flicks with bedside movie service (I'll explain this one...every night when we're taking showers, sleeping, et cetera this Kuwaiti guy comes up in his van, which is likely made by VolksWagon or Mercedes and sells bootleg DVDs, with like 5 movies on one disc. Soon I shall be the owner of many bootleg DVDs.)
*Gourmet water (because drinking the tap here will likely keep you up late at night)

So basically this place is just...different. The heat I'm told is about 10 degrees hotter here in Kuwait compared to iRaq, which is great news. Seeing as how it's nearly November and it's in the high nineties to low one-hundreds this should be a...sweaty year, to say the least. Everywhere you walk in Kuwait you end up dirty. It's funny. Everytime I take a shower I end up going back to the tent with sand all over my body. Guys are meant to be dirty though so it's not too bad. It's really no wonder that iRaq is always attacking other people and they are portrayed as violent people...if I lived here I'd be pissed off too. Okay, so enough complaining...here's what I've been up to:

*Reading 'Jarhead'...so far it's a great book, I encourage all military people to check it out. I'm reading it before I see the movie, for once.
*Watching every episode of 'South Park' I can, because I'm just that bored.
*Fixing my DVD burner and trying to figure out why Bill Gates can't make one copy of Windows that has no errors.
*Attending classes about 'knowing our surroundings'.
*Listening to all sorts of songs on Sammy, my iPod.
*Considering writing a movie script, which of course will have nothing to do with the Army.
*Wondering what God has in store for me when I get out of the Army.
*Later today I'm gonna clean my weapon. I think I'm gonna practice disassembling/assembling my weapon with my eyes closed later, due to the Marine in 'Jarhead.'
*Waking my dad up at 2:30 AM to ask a question. Whoops. I guess I figured the time out wrong.
*Doing PT, which just sucks.
*Going to church here at the camp I'm at.

Well, this is certainly my last post for a while...I don't know how long.

I love you all.

Okay, I've simply given up supplying you guys with photos of the iPod moments. Perhaps Ferdinand's camera is retarded, or me, or PhotoBucket or Imageshack. It's all really lost its luster to begin with. Ferdinand is gone now, and I think we all know where. I should be there soon. But do to OPSEC (Operation Security) measures I can't reveal places, times, pertinent information, et cetera, especially on the iNternet.

Moving on...it's like 10:11:32 this wonderful Saturday morning...what else is there to do but post? Watch cartoons?..maybe, if I had a TV. Get dressed?..maybe, if I had more than like 3 sets of clothes. Eat?..maybe, if I had food. What's all this fuss about, you may ask? I'll tell ya. My stuff is gone. The only things in my room are as follows: one set of portable (mini) Sony (*GASP* - given to me) speakers, one can of Instant Sneaker Cleaner, one metal horse omen, one Incredible Pizza yellow stuffed animal-thing, one folder containing all my important Army papers, one NY Yankees hat, 5 military coins, one cable modem, one IBM laptop, one Apple iPod 30GB Photo, one Pez dispenser, one picture of Brooke and I at Incredible Pizza, one GamePad bought from http://www.woot.com, one pillow, one blanket, one pair of shoes, three sets of clothes, one HP iPaq, one Panasonic Lumix digital camera, three SD cards, one pack of AA batteries, one Monopoly board, one homemade-hasn't-been-worked-on-in-a-while Monopoly board, one full ruck sack and one full duffle bag. Oh yeah, and about 200 DVDs on 2 spindles, ready to go. This sucks. In case you're wondering, most of the stuff I listed will be shipped home via UPS, for I'm guessing around 28 dollars.

So yeah, I might go to the flea market in a bit. I'm still thinkin' about it. I know I've missed all the good deals already, but it's always a fun experience. We'll see.

A reason to see Jarhead: it looks REALLY good.

A reason to NOT see Scary Movie 4: Dr. Phil is making his film debut. What a queer. What kind of doctor lets you call them by their first name? I hated that growing up in church..."I'm Miss Julie," and "I'm Mister Bill,"..I said Mr. Bill. That's funny. But still, I don't get it! Your name is made of two for a reason: you aren't Madonna, Cher and definitely not . So answer me this: what kind of 'doctor' demands the respect of addressing him as 'Dr.' but then insists the latter part be his first name: Phil, instead of 'Dr. McGraw,' which is the proper name. I hate Dr. McGraw, in case you couldn't tell. He knows nothing.

Hmm, what is there to do today? We'll see.

*sigh* Just sec, let me change. BRB.

Okay, back. That was fun. This is what happened since we last met:

iTunes wouldn't work. I got it to, after software/firmware upgrades/pulling my head out of my butt/following the included iPod directions.

I worked on Friday at the range, again. Well, I wouldn't call it work - but I did sleep all day at the range. I was the medic driver. How exciting. There, I saw two prarie dogs talk to each other. It was amazing. They bark and everything, which got me thinking that's why they are called just that...prarie dogs. That night I ate at my friend Ben's house, where I poured my first drink. Quite interesting. No, I didn't get drunk, I didn't even get a buzz. I drank one shot of moonshine which was terrible and some Vodka/Sprite. It doesn't take much Vodka to make a Sprite taste bad. I also ate 1 hamburger and 6 hot dogs, which I believe outlives all other records held by me. No, kiddies - I didn't drive either. Those hot dogs were absolutely amazing though...tip for all you last-minute-bar-be-quers...a little seasoned salt on the hot dog goes a long way.

I woke up early Saturday so I could work...yes, another weekend that the Army has taken away from me. Luckily, after like 3 hours of debates among the people in charge, my friend Scott and I were released. So we went to Denny's for breakfast, where we discovered the best special ever entitled 'The Original Grand Slam.' This thing is 2 eggs, 2 pancakes, 2 sausages and 2 bacon strips all for $3.79. Beat that IHOP. It got better though...since we were in DCU's it was quite obvious we were in the Army, along with about 72% of the rest of the Springs. Either way, the waitress approached us and told about a man who just left and gave $20 towards our tab because he was a Vietnam veteran. Unfortunately we couldn't thank him, but we did get some milkshakes due to him. Plus our waiter with the mullet, Ted, got a $5 tip, all from the remaining money. Pretty crazy, eh? I thought so too. I would say I slept about 7 hours during that day, which is always great. I think it was Saturday I did that. Yeah, it was...cause that's when Kari and Jeremy called. I called Kari back and found out about the 'complications,' shall we say. That was sad, and I'll admit I cried. Hopefully all will be alright with her unborn child. Okay, so when Jeremy called he invited me to Cripple Creek (the gambling area around here). Since I've yet to go with friends, and we just got paid, and I got promoted, I figured why not? So I went. One meal, one Bacardi Razz/Sprite and eighty dollars later I'd had enough of that place. We all left losers. The worst part is I won like $88 with Jeremy's dad's money, which was all his. Rude? No...since I was bankrupt for the night, and he'd just won like $1800, he gave me money to spend twice. Once he gave me $20 and the other time $50. I was doing good with both, and when I made out pretty good, he told me just play it out. That's not fun. I like to quit when I'm up on top. He doesn't care apparently. That's cool though, it was fun to spend someone else's money I guess. Enough on Saturday. Get up, stretch and come back in five minutes, okay?

Fully stretched? Good. Sunday morning I DIDN'T go to church. I went to the flea market, but you must understand why. I've had to work the last, like three Sundays, therefore I'm pretty sure my church thinks I'm in iRaq. That's fine, I really don't mind. Secondly, I don't have a ride. Finally, the flea market must be visited before I leave this country. So it was. Ally was there, and she was lookin' super hot. (If you're a girl skp down to the next paragraph, as the language I'm about to use isn't appropriate.) No, Chris, I've yet to grow the balls to ask this girl out. I know, I suck. I will try to remember to not be stupid next week, when it will be pretty much too late. But she does want me to stay in contact while in iRaq and whatnot. So that's a step, right?

So, at the flea market I bought a DVD (Eminem's European tour thingie - $1) and two CDs of which I really shouldn't say what they are, but I will in full confidence I will be made fun of and spat upon (Venessa Carlton and Michelle Branch - $7/2). I figured it wasn't THAT bad of a deal. Oh yeah, and FINALLY I bought the Revolver vinyl from The Beatles. The cover is jacked up, but this vinyl expert lady told me it's pretty rare 'cause it's mono, not stereo. I bought that for $1 as well. I'm super cool now. After the flea market what else was there to do but eat ice cream? I indulged with some Cold Stone...blueberry and cheesecake ice cream mixed together and blended to perfection with Oreo's and strawberries. It was quite heavenly...not your everyday treat, unless you weigh 644 lbs., in which case, you eat two a day. Shame on you.

Sunday night we ate at Bono's which was lovely, but the chiles tore my stomach up. It was a nice gesture and all (thanks Ferdinand), but chiles hurt just as much when they come out, trust me. I took some Pepto and to close out the weekend Jamal, Tasha and I headed to the 'Mind Seizure Haunted House' here in the Springs. It was some of the best fun I've had in a LONG time. Scary fun, but still. Some parts were lame, but they'd catch you off guard and scare the crap out of you. Then came the clowns. I freaked and ran. I hate those freaks. Clowns suck. It's a newly-developed phobia of mine, seeing as I don't remember being terrified of them when I was younger. But now it's just something about them that sucks. Oh yeah, and there was a cameo by the girl from 'The Ring.' She crawled out of a well and everything. We decided we are gonna do as many haunted houses as we can before we leave. It'll be great and I'll keep you posted. I encourage everyone else to do the same, unless you have heart problems.

I don't remember Monday, but I'm sure I was pissed off.

Tuesday was today and I sat around most of the time. And for those that knew anything about my deployment, the original location I was going to is where I will be going, for now. They said it still may change. Jamal's getting pissed it keeps changing, which makes me feel good. Now, as promised, these are pics from my first iPod moments. OH YEAH...iPod has a name now...after long hours of thought I've come up with Samantha Nea Jankis. Sammy Jankis for short. This way I will always remember Sammy Jankis. Nea is derived from my nickname, Neo. Of course no one calls me Neo, unless I'm dreaming. Or is that reality? Either way, Samantha and I made beautiful pics...OKAY...I GUESS WAIT TILL NEXT ENTRY. I'M REALLY SORRY THIS IS BEING SO RETARDED. I KNOW IT'S NOT ME. I WILL DELIVER PICS NEXT TIME. DANG.

Once upon a time there was a man. And then there was a woman. The two met and had three children. The third and most beautiful child in the whole wide world was born in July of 1984 in the heart of Oklahoma. His name was Matthew.

Meanwhile, off in Silicon Valley there were two competing companies. Both just wanted to capture the hearts of the people, but couldn't quite figure out how. But then in the evil parts of the valley BILL GATES STOLE FROM STEVE JOBS WHO (BASICALLY STOLE) FROM OTHERS LEADING TO THE NEAR-BANKRUPTCY OF APPLE AND LOSS OF HIS JOB, FAMILY AND SANITY. Fast forward to December 2001 when Steve Jobs changed the world with the introduction of the iPod. Now leap a few more years to oh, I don't know...September 27, 2005. Stay there.

After staying out in the field Matthew wanted nothing more than a shower, but he knew his new mail-order bride was in. But as he told his buddy, a first impression is always important. So he showered and changed, paying extra attention to his ears, because they had dirt in them. So, he went to his buddy's house, where he was to be introduced to his love...iPod. She was beautiful, and Matthew couldn't wait to show her off. So he went to the movies while she got prepared for him (charged). When he came home he didn't even bother changing the ID3 tags. He gave her all the lovin' and music she'd ever need.

iLoveher.

The end. Pictures from the first date WILL be up on the next post. I did have links, but Photobucket and/or ImageShack aren't cooperating. Dang.

I worked today, and working on Sundays is never fun. I will also be working the next two days. Let me explain...we have a convoy practice exercise to do, where we'll be staying out in the field for a grand total of one night. But while we're out there we'll also be getting rounds shot above our heads as we low crawl. I guess our Command fails to see that we aren't at basic training and we're definitely not a hardcore line unit. Oh well. My iPod gets here when we get back, on Tuesday. I'd better not be staying any longer than neccessary. Oh yeah, and a co-worker of mine had a heart attack so my location for deployment may change. I can't say where, because it's against the rules. I'll be informing some of you later though as to what happens.

I'm very tired, but I must stay up because my DCU's are in the dryer. I got home about an hour ago. I worked since 5:15 until about 10:10 at night. It was crazy. It was the range. The worst range ever. To this day, this chaotic, but overall okay day, I say quite simply 'WTF?' For the kid-friendly version that means, 'Where's the Frito's?' That's all.

I've made some changes. Moving on...

So on Thursday morning when I came home from work (for breakfast) I had sweat on my brow and blood on my chest. Allow me to explain...

I got promoted, finally. When I got promoted on Thursday morning to SPC I was 'pinned' with new rank. This entails two people removing the old rank and applying new rank onto my collar. You get to choose your people. So who did I choose? Well, my best friend Jamal and my new Sgt. It was a good ol' time cause my buddies got promoted to PFC as well. Afterwards I owed the First Sergeant pushups for being promoted. I did them and watched as the motorpool section approached me. I knew what was coming. They grabbed the 'stoppers' off the pins and told me to get ready. One by one, each person came along punching as hard as they could into my collar, or at least hard enough. And they just seemed to keep coming. After all that was over, my shoulders were sore, I had bruises and blood stains on my shirt/BDUs. I'll give 'em credit. That hurt, but it's tradition, so what can ya do? :-)

That afternoon, I told SSG Hernandez 'thanks' (for making the promotion happen, granted it was about 15 days late) and he lectured me for about 20 minutes as to WHY I SHOULD'VE CHOSEN HIM to pin me. Wow. That is precisely the reason I DIDN'T choose him. But, whatever.

Since then, I think I saw a movie, but my memory seems to be slipping me. I am feeling really weird right now. Dizzy, and floaty. I'm not high. I haven't drank. I don't know what's going on. This is feeling weird. Maybe I'm just really tired. Hmm. I think I'll make this post more brief and hit the pillow soon. Wow. I see feathers. My eyes are feelin' wrierd.

Also, the guy who stole my guitar is back from iRaq, and I'm makin' him pay me for losing it. $200. Thank you very much; hopefully he actually pays me. I doubt he will.

Goodnight folks.

Okay, after a nice 20-minute or so break, I feel fine. But that was weird. Vertigo maybe? Hehe, Daddy couldn't talk - for once. That was cool, but I'm glad he's good now.

In case you're wondering about the pic...well, yeah, I changed that too. I really like South Park now, so I changed my avatar to be of me as a South Park character. There's a site where I designed the character, and then I did the rest after that. Since avatars are so small, here I am on a bigger scale, thanks to PhotoBucket...



Goodnight for reals, now. Woot time.

Ugh. All I feel is numbness right now. Is numb even a feeling? I feel like all God can do right now is look down at me, weep and ask the very question Jesus had, "Lama sabachthani? (Why have you forsaken me?)" It seems like everything I do is wrong.

I hate to have another depressing entry after such a lovely one before, but I can't help it. What's a fella to do, seriously? I feel like the people I hang out with hate me, even though I know they don't. So I say, screw 'em. I come home, look in the mirror and see nothing. I just want to look in the mirror and see something...God, anything, again, like I used to.

I feel as if I have nowhere to turn, no matter what I read, pray, do, who I talk to, et cetera. I'm so empty right now, and I don't know why. I don't even care what my feelings are anymore, as long as there is SOMETHING there, even if that means pain.

For those that fear I'm falling off into the deep end, don't fear. I'm just depressed, I'll get over it I'm sure. I always do.

Oh yeah, and my woodburning tip that I bought today broke after 10 minutes of use. There goes having a hobby for a few days. Dang.

Very few times in my life (maybe once a year) do I wake up in such a smooth fashion. I simply stopped dreaming, opened my eyes and popped up. No yawning, no deep thoughts, no sleeping in. So today will be special I'm sure. I feel quite refreshed and slept for about 9 hours. I feel nothing right now, which is a great feeling. I will now tell of my days P.C. (post Ciara).

On Thursday we had an Organizational Day, which meant we got to come in wearing civilian clothes and hang around everyone with fake smiles and overly-done hamburgers, complete with flies and stale buns. It was a good time, because I brought the ol' Monopoly board (Deluxe Edition, of course) where yes, I lost. To a girl. Ouch. So my record is now ? (big number) to three. Three times in my life I've lost, and two have been in Colorado. I blame the elevation. And the rules - I played with different people, so there was no 'money pot' (which is technically the right way to play) and we played with the 'Short Game' rules. That's probably what did it to me. Oh well. Oh yeah, I almost forgot...I went to '31 Flavors' that afternoon. It was delicioso, and we (Jamal, Tasha and Christina) stayed there for about three hours talking. It was neato.

For some reason we still went to work the next day. Why 'O-Day' wasn't on Friday, I don't know. Either way, I wouldn't really call what I did Friday 'work.' I was a demonstrator for CTT training, which involved me laying on the ground for about 3 hours. I was the casualty in 'Evaluate a Casualty.' I got to throw in my two cents every now and then, and since I was a demonstrator I didn't have to wear my Kevlar (helmet). Yay. In the afternoon we just talked in the office until formation. OH YEAH...I also FINALLY got quizzed on the NCO Creed (again) and DID IT WORD FOR WORD. My Sgt. was impressed, and told me this time, don't dump it. I won't. That night I watched two movies. One, 'Dukes of Hazzard' was watched after work in my bedroom due to illegal downloading. It was a splendid movie and I really don't know why the critics dissed it so much. I liked it, and surprisingly Jessica Simpson wasn't that bad...slutty, but not that bad. I will never get used to seeing Seann William Scott with a country accent, but it suits Johnny Knoxville wonderfully. Now, I've never seen the show, but is the General Lee suppossed to be a 'super-car?' I mean this thing can apparently go through any terrain at full speeds, jump over buildings, et cetera and not get seriously injured, ever. A little weird, but if you want to watch it knowing the acting will be a little different, the story will be cliche, and the dialogue/situations will be cheesy, jump on this movie. Definitely worthy of a DVD purchase and/or a Dodge Charger purchase.

The second movie I saw was at the oh-so-wonderful-but-not-really Tinseltown. I hate it there. They have no VIP card (like AMC does, where you get rewards for going) and their 'military discount' sucks. She didn't even charge me military rates yesterday, even though I showed ID. But we were in a rush, so I let it be. Anyway, $7.75 went towards the viewing pleasure of 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose.' This movie was great, if you understand it's a true story. I heard the critics are being stupid with reviews on it, and that's fine. I don't listen to critics. You don't HAVE to listen to me. But the whole time I knew this was based on the truth, and there's really no saying 'hey, that couldn't be true' like most movies, simply because it's about DEMON POSSESSION. That's a little out of my expertise to call something out as untrue. Demons are capable of a lot. The only part I didn't really agree with (this doesn't give anything away) is the whole 'holy water' thing. Now I'm not Catholic, but I've never really understood the signifigance of this. Every demon-possession movie features a priest that eventually uses the holy water to hurt and/or expose the demon. Someone explain this to me. But see this movie, be it in theaters or on DVD. The acting was pretty good and it's not all scary. Half the movie takes place in a court room. This movie is better than 'The Exorcist' I'd say, just because it's mainly true.

After the movie Jamal was tired, so Tasha and I hung out. We mainly played 'N***a Knock', which I'm refraining from typing because it just might offend someone because I'm a cracker. 'N***a Knock' is where you knock on people's doors and run away. It was hilarious. People were drunk in the barracks, and confused when we did this to them. Very fun night. One final thought before the big pic upload...make that two final thoughts. I just uploaded all the photos to my computer from my SD card and I must say, I don't know where I stand with Panasonic cameras. That's right folks...I agree that Panasonic MAY NOT be the best choice for certain things. Cameras is one of them. I just can't figure out why so many pics come out in blue. At first I thought it was an operator-lever error, but now I wonder...with Kodak EasyShare cameras would this problem happen? I doubt it. Luckily all photos that needed fine-tuning got SOME done by Microsoft Office Picture Manager's wonderful 'Auto Correct' function. I don't know what I'd do without it. Although some pics are still blue. It's not a miracle worker. So I think my next camera will be by Kodak. Now, second thought: 'V8 Splash Smoothies' is quite possibly the best healthy drink out right now.

As promised a few days ago, here are the pics, in no particular order (PLEASE READ ALL THE INFO/CAPTIONS ABOVE THE PHOTOS...THEY VAGUELY DESCRIBE EACH PHOTO. THANK YOU)...

1st off, I'm proud of this one...it's my friend David and I when I was home last...THANKS TO HTTP://WWW.IMAGESHACK.US/ FOR HOSTING THIS IMAGE...


THANKS TO HTTP://WWW.PICTURETRAIL.COM/ FOR HOSTING THE REST...
My parents in Texas Roadhouse for their 30th Anniversary...


This is a Scout that my dad wanted me take pics of for Chris...





This is a pic from Mother's Day. She (my mom) is holding her Mother's Day plate...


This is Mommy laughing on the bed. It's too tall for her...


This is Mommy holding her little soldier boy...


Here is me going crazy on the way back to Colorado from Brooke's graduation...


This is me and Kari and Gracie at Brooke's graduation...


How many attempts does it take to get a family photo right? A lot in mine. It's quite humourous how many of these we took. I love the self-timer...







This time it only took once...


For some reason I deem it neccessary to take a photograph of the Texas Roadhouse sign, and then display it on the Internet...


A picture of the folks after dinner at Texas Roadhouse. We got lost on the way there, by the way...


Daddy likes to bowl...


Chris likes to as well. Chris, doesn't like it when I keep buggin' him with pics...


Who ISN'T super excited on 30th Anniversary Day?..



The 30-Years-Married Couple, still happy!..